Why Am I So Bad At Writing and Posting More Often?! (Part Two)

As you could probably have inferred from the title of my last post, I have decided to question and explain my lack of consistency in multiple posts over a period of time. I don't yet know how long that period of time will be. I also do not yet know what posts will be like once I am finished with these posts.

In my last post I mentioned how the burden of writing and posting would fall upon my shoulders. I have been thinking a bit about the wording of this. Upon thought, perhaps it's my categorizing writing as a burden to bear that has made me reluctant to write and post. I have had a sort of rough/ complicated relationship with English class and writing for a while. Through my experiences of writing in school, I have come to subconsciously see writing as an unappealing task that I was just required to do. However, as I have become more educated and my writing skills have improved, I have begun to work on getting rid of this attitude. I still have issues, the greatest of which being my insecurities over my writing ability. I know that I am able to write well. That much should have been made obvious by my ability to succeed in writing intensive courses and because of the praise that I have received from my professors and peers. But I cannot help but doubt myself because I want every word that I say and write to mean something. I want to be insightful and illuminating. To hear that my writing or something that I have said has had a positive impact on the world around me would be amazing. It is that desire to be meaningful, though, that holds me back. The precision with which I attempt to use makes me hypercritical of the translation of the thoughts in my head to words that others can hear or read. My quest for perfection stops me from writing because if I can't translate my thoughts exactly why bother try to translate them at all?

Another reason why I have not been writing and posting has to do with the very nature of this blog. I chose the title "Stand Up and Speak Out" for a reason. I wanted to create and have a space where I would be free to state my opinions on politics, culture, and other controversial issues. However, I hadn't felt that sharing my voice and experiences with the world would make any sort of difference. Looking back, I see the error in that. As the world we live in changes we are given more reasons to share our narratives. This seems to be especially true now, what with the election of Donald Trump as the next president of the United States. The more I think about it the more I realize that I must speak now while I can. To at least try to make some sort of impact, even if it's just on one person.

I cannot afford to remain seated and silent.

Why Am I So Bad At Writing and Posting More Often?! (Part One)

Here I am once again writing about how it has been too long since I last wrote anything on this blog. I must admit that I have a bad habit of not visiting or posting on any account of mine. This is, of course, with the exception of my personal Facebook account. Either way, I don't write or post nearly as often as I would like.

It's not like I don't have a valid excuse. I am a full time college sophomore who holds a position of leadership in sorority. I am double majoring in Zoo and Conservation Science and Biology AND have a minor in Women's, Gender and Sexuality Studies. I have devoted many hours to my studies and to the people who I now call my family. In my first year at college I took more than the expected number of credit hours (38 total) and went on a 3000 (junior level) travel course to London and Amsterdam for my WGSS minor. This year, although I am taking only 15 credit hours this fall semester, I have taken on the role of service chair for my sorority and volunteering/ working a four hour shift once a week at a wildlife rehabilitation and education center for my zoo major. Next semester I will be taking 18.5 credit hours of classes and will be going on another May travel course to South Africa for my zoo major.

Looking at my schedule, it would make sense that I wouldn't have time to write or post. As a wise woman once said, "Ain't nobody got time for that". But I feel that using my busy schedule as an excuse isn't acceptable because 1) I was able to put aside time for the rigorous new member education required to join my sorority and 2) this doesn't take into account the breaks from school that I had. Instead, the burden of trying (and probably failing) at running a semi-coherent falls on my shoulders alone.

But, like I've said before, I will now try my best to hold myself more accountable when it comes to writing and posting.