Why Am I So Bad At Writing and Posting More Often?! (Part Two)

As you could probably have inferred from the title of my last post, I have decided to question and explain my lack of consistency in multiple posts over a period of time. I don't yet know how long that period of time will be. I also do not yet know what posts will be like once I am finished with these posts.

In my last post I mentioned how the burden of writing and posting would fall upon my shoulders. I have been thinking a bit about the wording of this. Upon thought, perhaps it's my categorizing writing as a burden to bear that has made me reluctant to write and post. I have had a sort of rough/ complicated relationship with English class and writing for a while. Through my experiences of writing in school, I have come to subconsciously see writing as an unappealing task that I was just required to do. However, as I have become more educated and my writing skills have improved, I have begun to work on getting rid of this attitude. I still have issues, the greatest of which being my insecurities over my writing ability. I know that I am able to write well. That much should have been made obvious by my ability to succeed in writing intensive courses and because of the praise that I have received from my professors and peers. But I cannot help but doubt myself because I want every word that I say and write to mean something. I want to be insightful and illuminating. To hear that my writing or something that I have said has had a positive impact on the world around me would be amazing. It is that desire to be meaningful, though, that holds me back. The precision with which I attempt to use makes me hypercritical of the translation of the thoughts in my head to words that others can hear or read. My quest for perfection stops me from writing because if I can't translate my thoughts exactly why bother try to translate them at all?

Another reason why I have not been writing and posting has to do with the very nature of this blog. I chose the title "Stand Up and Speak Out" for a reason. I wanted to create and have a space where I would be free to state my opinions on politics, culture, and other controversial issues. However, I hadn't felt that sharing my voice and experiences with the world would make any sort of difference. Looking back, I see the error in that. As the world we live in changes we are given more reasons to share our narratives. This seems to be especially true now, what with the election of Donald Trump as the next president of the United States. The more I think about it the more I realize that I must speak now while I can. To at least try to make some sort of impact, even if it's just on one person.

I cannot afford to remain seated and silent.